


You're in my lungs, before I curl up (and die)

by Arkeis07



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: End of the World, F/F, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:42:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2641895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkeis07/pseuds/Arkeis07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode 32 tho...</p>
<p>Carmilla steels herself for sacrifice, seeking one last moment of comfort before it all goes to hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're in my lungs, before I curl up (and die)

**Author's Note:**

> So it's probably due to the fact that I'm absolutely obsessed with the Carmilla series, but recently almost every song I've listened to (that has a slightly darker tone) includes lyrics that are just like, totally Carmilla/Laura. So I couldn't help myself with this one (plus ep 32 omgaaaaah). It's angst time. (but not too angsty because I can't, I just can't, not with these two). 
> 
> Please enjoy my heartache!

Partly inspired by the poetic heartbreak that comes out of Jaymes Young's mouth: [One Last Time](https://listenonrepeat.com/?v=X3G95eeVym0#Jaymes_Young_-_One_Last_Time)

You're in my lungs, before I curl up (and die)

* * *

 

 

 

The sword shines a brilliant golden yellow even in the depths. The hilt has an intricate serpentine design, and when Carmilla grasps it, the two snakeheads erupt into life and encircle themselves around Carmilla's wrist. Suddenly feeling desperate, Carmilla wastes no time in kicking back through the murky waters and out of the cavernous entrance. Her ascent is slowed given that she only has one free arm to swim with, but she focuses on the light above her and suffers an existential moment in which she hardly recognizes this daring creature that has been to the ends of the earth to save another's soul.

 

It's disturbingly romantic.

 

/ / / /

 

_I'm fading/ Much too fast, my love. I'm waiting/ For it to pass, my love_

 

She's on the shore now, dripping wet in the cold air. Her right arm feels weak and heavy as stone, the sword grasped tightly in her fingers, as it grips just as tightly to her forearm. She doesn’t need to breathe but there's a weight on her chest and it just feels better to huff air in and out, lying on her back on the gravely shoreline. There's something in the sword that's draining her, bringing darkness to the edge of her vision. She lets her head fall to the side, wet hair sticking her forehead, saline water dripping off the edge of her nose.

This is her baptism, her burial ritual.

 

/ / / /

 

By the time she reaches the dorms, the gilded serpents have slithered up to her elbow. It's nearing sunset and Laura is asleep at her computer desk. She must have stayed up the whole night with Perry and LaFontaine, searching for the entrance to the sacrificial chamber and Perry shooing any co-ed they ran into back to the safety of their dorms. The New Moon is today. Mother will be scrambling for a final victim, too distracted to notice Carmilla's deed.

 

Carmilla curses the blade attached to her arm. It may be their salvation but for now it's a cumbersome hindrance that prevents Carmilla from moving freely. After considering her situation briefly, Carmilla approaches the desk, noticing her bloodstained glass sitting next to Laura's blue mug. 

 

She ducks under Laura's elbow, scoops the girl up under the legs with her left hand and carefully positions her right, with the sword cutting into the carpet, behind Laura's back, lifting her weightlessly out of the chair. Turning left, Carmilla gently lays Laura down upon her messed up sheets. Another moment's consideration leads Carmilla to grab Laura's yellow pillow from her bed and place it softly under Laura's head, taking time to smooth her hand across blonde locks.

 

She sits down on the bed, gazing at Laura. Wondering how things ended up like this. Undeniably, Carmilla is about to risk everything for this girl. So she indulges herself.

 

The vampire falls back to the bed, swinging her legs up and touching her knees to Laura's. She shares Laura's pillow, her face close enough to see freckles. Her left hand seeks out Laura's, while her right arm dangles with the heavy sword off the bed. Lethargy unlike any she's felt before overtakes her body, and she worries that if she closes her eyes now, she may not open them again.

 

Carmilla feels selfish in this moment, and she wishes Laura would wake up, wishes more than ever to kiss her, to hold onto her and never let her go, kingdom come or no. Laura sniffs in her sleep, and her nose briefly bunches up in that way that used to annoy but now endears. Carmilla squeezes Laura's fingers between her own.

 

Laura opens one eye slowly. Then the other. Carmilla watches as comprehension washes over her, and then Laura's closed one eye again and sniffs. "You smell."

 

Carmilla smiles ,"You're not so fresh yourself, buttercup."

 

"Is that... seaweed?" Laura reaches with her hand that isn't being held up to Carmilla's hair, pulling a small strand of sea debris from it.

 

"So it appears," and Carmilla subtly moves closer. Laura tilts her head up slightly from her pillow, "So wait, did you actually - "

 

Carmilla purses her lips and shakes her head.

 

"The sun is setting. I want - " and Carmilla licks her lips, "I want to think about something else other than what's waiting for us tonight. Can you do that for me?"

 

Laura softens at the touch of Carmilla's thumb rubbing circles against the back of her hand. She closes her mouth on her questions and settles back onto her sunshine yellow pillow.

 

_Could I feel your skin on mine/ Before I have to say goodbye/ Could I breathe, please, one last time. You're in my lungs, before I curl up/ And die._

 

It's Laura that moves first, her eyes darting between Carmilla's hooded gaze and her softly smiling lips. Carmilla feels the weight that's been in her chest since she reemerged from the ocean lift off, and her lungs expand wide, deeply sucking in Laura's scent. She's soft and warm and so full of light that Carmilla feels blinded in the moment.

 

She has to stop when the sword shakes in her hand. Pulling away, Carmilla and Laura watch as the deadly hilt stretches to wrap tightly around Carmilla's bicep.

 

/ / / /

 

_I'm leaving/ This cold world of mine/ No pleading/ Is gonna turn back time._

 

Carmilla hopes that this is some sort of karmic justice for her. Her atonement for letting Ell's innocence be sacrificed - for being the _reason_ she was sacrificed. If Carmilla can spare Laura's innocence, her light that shines so brightly sometimes it pulls Carmilla's focus away from the heavens, if Carmilla can be the reason that she gets to _live -_

 

/ / / /

 

If Perry and Laura and whatever's left of a functioning LaFontaine can halt Mother's search for a fifth sacrifice long enough until the new moon passes, then it'll be worth it. Carmilla will take her chance, sacrificing everything, and take the Dean down with her. The vampire cabal she leads will no doubt fall shortly thereafter; they've no loyalty to the ancient evil residing in the hellmouth below Silas. Carmilla can't be sure either way, but she's steeling herself with the thought that Laura, and her friends, will get out safely, and come the dawn, some sort of salvation.

 

_All my world is losin' light._

 

Carmilla hoists the Blade of Hastur up in front of her, its sharp golden point aiming into the depths of the ritual chamber. She can see flames dancing along the walls, faintly hear the beating of human hearts, the frantic footsteps of captors. The sword shivers, the snakeheads coil around her shoulders, splitting around her neck to come to a stop just above her heart. The darkness around her eyes increases, but for the first time in centuries, Carmilla's heart beats a brave pulse.

 


End file.
